When we got engaged back in January 2013, we were so excited to start planning our wedding. We had no idea what sort of expenses came with a wedding and we're so glad we postponed it until the following summer, giving us 18 months to plan, save, and find the best bargains.
In the Seattle-area, the average wedding costs $27,000. Can you believe that?! With our super bargain hunting skills, we managed to only spend about $7,000. Our wallets (and our parents' wallets) are quite pleased.
Since I now feel like an expert on the subject, I'd like to share our advice.
1. Set a budget
Ugh this one is so important. I don't want it to be first, but it really does set everything in motion.
Ask yourselves these questions:
- Are your parents paying or contributing anything?
- Do you have anything in savings?
- How much can you save before the big day? Put a realistic amount from your paycheck aside each month, even if that is only $25. It all adds up.
Whatever you have, you have and go with it. We recommend trying to avoid credit cards if possible (being in massive wedding debt is no fun), however, if you use your cards for airline miles, know that wedding shopping adds up with several big ticket items, and could be a good time to rack up your mileage. Just decide what works best for you. The Knot has a
Wedding Budget Calculator that I liked. You need to join (free) to use it, but I would recommend avoiding the wedding forums with plague-like intensity.
2. Recognize Needs vs. Wants
What do you REALLY need for a wedding? Two people who love each other, an officiant, and a witness. That's it.
What else do you
want? Pick two things you find most important.
Kevin and I each picked one big ticket item we felt we couldn't live without. Kevin wanted live music and I wanted a professional photographer.
We set a budget for everything else and if it didn't fit, we got rid of it.
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| Photo by Cryptic Fish Photography |
3. Look for non-traditional venues
When something has "wedding" tacked onto the title, it seems to automatically jump thousands of dollars. It's all wedding industry marketing! Depending on your religion, you don't have to have your wedding in a church, or even at a listed wedding venue. In fact, having your wedding at a unique venue kind of makes your wedding that much more memorable.
For us, we knew we wanted our event to be outdoors, so we looked at city parks, state parks, and pretty much anything that had outdoor space (restaurants, gardens, some zoos even offer space!)
- City parks - depending on the size of your guest list, these can be good, and often cost less than $100 a day to rent. However, they come with little amenities. Factor in kitchen supplies and seating into your budget.
- State parks - some state parks have pavilions to rent, often with similar amenities to city parks. However, some parks have bigger sites to rent. The park we chose for our wedding included a full kitchen with cups, plates, utensils, cabins with facilities to get ready in, and indoor tables and chairs for the reception, along with picnic tables for outside seating. Another park we looked at had a beautiful log hall set in an old growth forest. Absolutely stunning, but no cooking facilities besides BBQ grills and they charged extra for tables and chairs. Always look at your state park website to see what each park may offer.
- Local halls or meetinghouses, however if they are religiously affiliated then they often only allow dry weddings.
- Vacation rental homes- try vrbo.com to see what pretty houses are in your area.
- Friends or family's yards -sometimes the perfect place is literally in your (or your parents') backyard.
4. Know that stunning weddings don't have to be expensive...
I really liked the website
the Budget Savvy Bride because it allows you to look at weddings based on their budgets.
Got a budget of only $1,000? Other couples did, too, and you can view images of how it turned out, plus their tips.
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| Photo by Cryptic Fish Photography |
5. ...but that catering kind of is
No matter what way you look at it, catering is expensive. When I was searching for caterers, the cheapest thing I found was $10 per head - but all that included was a bag of chips and a ham sandwich. (The most expensive I saw was starting at $75 per head, and this was considered a "bargain" in a bridal magazine.)
Some way to cut costs in catering:
- Potlucks- some people think this is tacky, but I completely disagree! Potlucks form a sense of community, and what could be more communal than bringing together your friends and family to celebrate love! Potlucks only work if most of your guests are local. You really can't expect Aunt Lynn to bring potato salad from North Carolina.
- Hors d'oeuvres or tapas instead of an actual meal - only works if you have an evening wedding or an early afternoon wedding (think after lunch but before dinner). People really will expect a meal around dinner time.
- Ask around - We were lucky because 1. we had a friend (who is also a professional caterer) offer to cater at a discounted rate, and 2. my dad, my bridesmaid's husband, and the community I grew up in (a small fishing town in Alaska) got together and caught fresh Alaskan salmon and donated their catch to the wedding despite not even being invited (I miss small town hospitality...), saving us tons of money on the dinner. Always reach out to friends and family. You never know who they may know!
6. Network
Part of the fun of wedding planning was talking about it. A lot. I told baristas, bank tellers, cashiers, etc. all about my wedding planning. People want to help. People offer advice. Sometimes that advice is terrible, but sometimes it actually leads you in great directions.
I started following the photographer we liked but couldn't afford on Facebook and one evening, about a year before the wedding, she posted that if you paid in full by a certain date, that she would do the wedding photography for $this-incredible-rate-we-could-actually-afford! You just never know.
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| photo by Cryptic Fish Photography |
7. Price check everything
Having eighteen months to plan, I had the time to jump from website to website to check prices. I also had both Joanne Fabrics' and Michael's coupon apps on my phone at all times (never pay full price for glue.)
Recognize that DIY does not always mean cheaper. Sometimes buying the supplies for a project, plus the glue you ran out of, plus the beads, plus the paper, plus--oops you now need more beads--gets costly. Just make sure you are aware of these little costs before you start a project.
And remember, rentals cost money, delivery has fees. Our rental company charged us an extra .39 per chair to set up and another .39 to break down! To save money even here we had them set up the chairs but then recruited my uncles to break down chairs after the ceremony, saving us $44.85 right there!
8. Honeymoons cost money, too
After budgeting all our wedding expenses, we knew we still wanted a "minimoon," but once we started looking at hotel prices (and even cabin prices at campgrounds, or yurts...) we realized it was going to cost more than we had.
Look at alternative options: perhaps camping or backpacking is how you'd love to spend your honeymoon? Maybe a friend's parents' own a beach house or cabin? Or, if you don't mind sacrificing the fine china on your registry, try
honeyfund.com. We used Honeyfund and loved it!
No matter what direction you go, I do recommend getting away from your dirty dishes for a few days. Maybe spend a night or two in a B&B and save the big honeymoon for next summer?
9. Think outside the box
Linens are sooooo expensive,
but these are not. Think disposable dishes are ugly?
Have you seen these? If you're set on a theme, get creative. Kevin works at a used bookstore, so we were able to get tons of old, vintage books for almost no cost as our centerpieces. Done.
When people are telling you "You HAVE to have an aisle runner" or "Cupcakes are SO tacky", turn to these sources:
Offbeat Bride
A Practical Wedding
One Perfect Day: The Selling of An American Wedding by Rebecca Mead
